Life is short...

Life is short. Too short.

I have lost friends too young. I have friends who have lost parents too young. I have friends who have young children who are sick and every day they find the strength to carry on. I have dear friends who are sick and struggling with their health but continue to live their life to the fullest possible.

I pray for them everyday.

I am grateful to all of them for they are the ones who inspire me. They inspire me to embrace every day.

I sometimes feel guilty. I feel guilty when I am sitting here pondering where I should go next when the only thing that is stopping me from getting on a plane and heading out to some unknown territory is, myself. We all have our vices and mine is taking a trip that is longer than two days, alone. Yes. Alone. Here I sit, talking about people who have lost loved ones, or those who are struggling every day and my vice is I am a big scaredy cat. You may wonder, what do you mean you don't like to travel alone, isn't that what you set out to do, is to travel? Yes, I did. But I didn't have a concrete plan. I was planning to plan when I arrived in Malaysia to begin this one year adventure. And, two months later there is still no 'plan'.

Then I saw this quote:

"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."

At first this year off was intended to be a year with the one I love. But, as this adventure has started to unfold I have realized that this year is also about growing, learning and discovering. Ok, I promise not to turn this blog into an Eat, Love, Pray diary but, I just need to be real, be vulnerable and be me.

We all have thoughts that swirl around in our heads...well think of a tornado. Yup, that would be what goes around in my head sometimes. A tornado of thoughts that have no rhyme or reason, they don't flow together, I just go from one idea to the next. Someone once said to me, "Shelley, you need to focus." Yes. Yes, I do. So, that is what I am going to try to do. Focus.

And, all that being said, I am coming up with a plan. I know of a few places I would like to discover, however it is more of a matter of how and when. So, next week I am conquering one fear and will travel alone, yes, alone, to a place called Kota Kinabalu for a few days, where I will plan.

Well, I plan to plan so lets see if I can focus and come up with the list of must-have adventures for the remainder of my year while I cherish each day.